MonkeyFace
by you know who chan
Summary: Harry said that Salazar Slytherin had a face like a monkey…but did he really? Well…it was all thanks to Godric.One Shot


I love Salazar and Godric and I was thinking about how Salazar's appearance was mentioned in COS. Harry says "ancient and monkey-like" (COS, 226) but no one really thinks he looks like a monkey…so then I got an idea about how that might have been changed…and here it is!

_Monkey-Face_

Summary: Harry said that Salazar Slytherin had a face like a monkey…but did he really? Well…it was all thanks to Godric.

"What you mean you have a chamber _under_ the school?" Godric asked Salazar skeptically.

"It _means,_" Salazar replied, he was being to wonder why he was telling this information to Godric in the first place. "That I built a hidden chamber under the school where I can keep things I don't want others finding," He stared at Godric pointedly. "Or where I can go if I want to be alone."

"That is what your _private_ chambers are for," Godric said, exasperated. "Merlin knows you keep them well-enough warded that no one could get though." He mumbled with an after-thought. "What could you possibly need to hide from everyone?"

"Books, personal objects of inheritance, things of that sort" Salazar answered as casually as he could.

"Lair." Godric frowned at him. "What are you keeping down there?"

"_A basilisk_" Salazar mumbled.

"What?"

"A basilisk" Salazar mumbled at bit louder. This time Godric caught his words.

"YOU'RE KEEPING A BASILISK UNDER THE SCHOOL!?" He thundered. He acted quite like Salazar had expected him too…totally freak out.

"It's only a baby-still very young!" Salazar protested. "And she can't get out unless I let her!"

"IT'S A BASILISK SALAZAR!"

"A nice, tame basilisk." Salazar corrected calmly.

"IT BETTER BE DEAD IF IT'S IN THIS SCHOOL!"

He should have calmed down by now…

"Basil is perfectly fine…"

"YOU NAMED IT!!??"

"Godric, listen to me!" Salazar said as he wandlessly cast a silencing spell on Godric. Godric continued to move his mouth as if he were still yelling. "Now no one can find my chamber because it's hidden, and it has to be opened by a password. The password just so happens to be in the snake language, so even if someone found it they couldn't open it. And later on I put _another _door with _another_ password but after that is where Basil is." He explained.

Godric pointed to his mouth. "You promise to not start screaming at me again?" Godric nodded and he lifted the spell.

"First:" Godric started, Salazar could tell he was still angry. "Just because parseltongue speakers are _rare_ does not mean that you are the only one. And (heaven forbid) you ever manage to reproduce" Salazar got a slightly amused look on his face at the disgusted look on Godric's. "Then there will be others because your gift will be passed on. Second: we have some very clever students (not just Rowena's house either) and they could find it I'm sure. Third: WHAT ON EARTH POSSESED YOU TO BRING A BASILISK INTO THE SCHOOL!?"

"I said no shouting!" Salazar reminded Godric casually. "And no one will find it." He said confidently. "And I found the egg in the forest; would you rather have one in the forest untamed or one I have control over?"

"I'd rather have it dead or on the other side of the world!" Godric said. His tone was still angry, but his volume had gone down. Salazar was thankful, because he could feel a headache coming on.

"Well, I'm keeping her and you can't find her." Salazar stuck his tongue childishly.

Godric smirked to himself as he watched Salazar cast several charms on the spot on the floor he had just emerged out of and then covered up. He hid in the shadows as Salazar left the room.

He had been following Salazar for the past week whenever he could and he now knew that this where there the 'secret' entrance to Salazar's 'secret' chamber was. Godric grinned to himself as he went into the room. _Not so secret anymore._

"Well, can you open it?" Godric asked the garden snake that un-coiled itself from Godric's arm. Taking Salazar's hints that you had to speak parseltongue to get in Godric had found a very intelligent snake to help him. In exchange for it helping Godric he found all its prey and gave it a good home. Although Godric knew very little about speaking parseltongue the snake understood English very well, so it worked out fine.

The snake nodded his head and hissed in the same way Salazar had done when he had gone into the chamber's entrance. Godric grinned as the steel bars slid away. He looked down, but it was to dark to see the bottom.

"Only Salazar." He muttered as he cast a levitation spell on himself and floated down to the bottom.

He walked a ways observing the chamber without much interest. In this part it was clear it wasn't intended for anything more then a passage way to the other password-guarded door. Actually, for all Godric knew it could be some grand walk-way. It was not like Salazar was any good at interior decorating. When they arrived at said doorway Godric let out a low whistle.

"Salazar and his snake faddish," Godric muttered. "Password please?" Godric glanced at the snake who hissed a few times, obviously tying to figure it out. "Try 'The Great Salazar Slytherin." He said dryly. The snake looked at him and Godric swore that if he could talk the snake would be laughing at him. "It could work!" Godric protested.

The snake tried it (or so he assumed, after all he wasn't a snake-speaking psychopath like _someone_ he knew). Well, whatever the snake had said worked, because it opened. "He spent far too much time on this." Godric muttered as he watched the snake-key-thingy go around and un-lock the door. Couldn't he just put a lock on it like _normal_ people?

"This thing is built for a full-grown basilisk to go through comfortably!" Godric said with just a _touch_ of anger/annoyance as he surveyed the entrance. "I hope he doesn't expect it to leave!" He dreaded the answer to that question. Well technically statement, but whatever.

They (although the snake wasn't walking-er slithering- he was still part of the party) went through the giant hole in the wall (for that was basically what it was). Godric was mildly impressed with the walkway the now stood upon. It was fine marble and he idly wondered where Salazar had gotten a hold of it.

"Snakes again…I swear that man…" Godric grumbled as he eyed the snake statues wryly. Could he make it _any_ clearer that he liked snakes?

He looked off the walk-way to the water that lightly lapped the sides. Mentally, Godric thought of the underground floor plans Rowena had demanded he look at. Thank Merlin for that woman. But anyway, this water (Godric guessed) was the water that came through to be filtered and them magically taken to various places it was needed via pipes.

"That is absolutely disgusting." Godric announced with complete disdain. Salazar's 'pet' could be doing unwanted things in their water! Godric decided that he would make sure to always cast a filtering spell on anything that might have touched water…so basically everything.

His eyes gradually traveled down (or was it up?) the walkway until his eyes rested on a large statue of…Salazar. Godric resisted the urge to make a chocking noise.

Why on earth did he make a huge statue of _himself_? It was weird…not to mention tacky.

As he walked toward the stone Salazar a large piles of blankets hissed a warning at him. Well…ok, so it wasn't _technically_ the blankets, it was the thing _inside _the blankets. Which was the basilisk Godric assumed. Great.

"Tell it I'm a friend of its master and to close its eyes." Godric commanded the garden snake. The snakes then hissed back and forth and the baby human-killer-thing kept its eyes closed. Godric was quite proud. "Now you can go over and do whatever you do while I…rearrange some things." Godric grinned evilly. He bent down and the snake (he really needed a name) slithered off his arm. It was fast (for a slithering snake anyway) and Godric didn't think it had _anything_ to do with the fact that he was laughing like a psychopath. Nope, none at all.

He looked at the statue. Of course it was stone so it didn't have any colors, but it did have good details. Who knew Salazar had any artistic talent? Well Godric certainly didn't, so it came as a surprise to him. He decided that it didn't really look anything like Salazar (actually, it did). He had always imagined Salazar as… well, not a snake that was too obvious. More like….a monkey.

Godric knew a lot about monkeys, and he liked them. So Salazar was a monkey-man. Godric took out his wand with a silly look on his face and waved it over the statue, saying the spell he wanted. The snakes watched him carefully (well he assumed they were anyway) as the spelled worked its magic…haha get it? Magic and it's a spell…ok, never mind.

He was happy when Salazar's once-handsome face now looked far more like a monkey's face mixed with a human. Godric thought it was much better now. Now…the hair.

Statue Salazar's hair was a lot like it was in real life --except the statue had perfect hair. The statue's hair was not pulled back (like Salazar usually wore it) and instead fell in perfect locks on his stone shoulders. That needed to be changed.

So he decided that Salazar would like a beard much better…a nice, excessively long one. Beards were very common and_ just_ because Salazar hated them did not mean he wouldn't try one. Actually, he would never, but that's ok because he didn't have a choice anyway. So Godric waved his wand and gave his old friend a long beard that fell almost in his feet. No matter that it would be very annoying to walk with, after all where was a statue going to go?

Hopefully nowhere, Godric thought. With his wonderful and thoughtful help complete Godric set to work on putting a bunch of charms on it to keep it that way. He was sure Salazar would love it and would never want to change it…but just incase. He was such a great friend!

He put a few on that he knew were hard to break though on their own and practically impossible when they were together…and that was if you knew what spells they were.

After he was done a large grin spread on his face. The garden snake hissed at him and he swore it was laughing again. Could snakes even laugh, well Godric assumed they must because everybody laughs. It was just natural.

They said goodbye to the basilisk. Godric had completely forgotten that he wanted to come down here and kill it or lock it up or something. He was too happy. The hills…er chamber... was alive with the sound of Godric's happy whistling.

"GODRIC!"

"Yes Salazar?" He asked merrily as the door to his classroom all but burst off its hinges. He was currently teaching a group of Gryffindors and Slytherins (very appropriate for the situation). At the sound of their professor's angry voice (which one could hear a mile away) they all looked at their books and didn't move a muscle.

Godric was quite proud. It made teaching so much easier when Salazar charged in his room angry because the students were scared of him. For some reason, Salazar tended to storm into Godric's classroom a lot. It must be because Godric was such a great friend!

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?" He screamed. His was all red and his eye was twitching like it tended to do when Salazar was pissed at Godric. He was so special that Salazar had a different anger when he was mad at him!

"I don't believe I know what you're talking about." Godric said sweetly.

"Yes you do! You bloody Gryffindor how the hell did you get down there!"

"Down where my sweet friend?"

"My chamber you blubbering idiot! Basil said she made a new friend and my statue was changed, WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

"Why, I have no idea what you are talking about." Godric grinned.

"I demand you change it back right now!" Salazar seethed.

"Oh…"Godric said thoughtfully. "I know what you're talking about!" He took out his wand and waved it over Salazar. "Like this, right?" He couldn't resist and snorted in laughter.

"GRYFFINDOR!" Salazar thundered.

"Class dismissed!" Godric called as he ran out the door. Salazar, seeing this, chased after him still screaming his name.

"Why does Master Slytherin look like a monkey?" One of the students asked.

"And what's with the beard?" Another asked.

A few brave ones peered out the door. "I can still hear them screaming." One muttered.


End file.
